Butter is a diet food…right?

kale

I don’t have the self-discipline to eat kale every day. I don’t typically gnaw on my plate garnish and my ever supportive but equally un-disciplined husband refers to it as, “the food my food eats”. I may or may not have ever even tried kale. Listen, the point is, if I were the kind of person who ate kale, I’d probably be the kind of person who made New Years’ resolutions to lose weight, and I think I’ve always just liked myself too much to not eat mashed potatoes. I question the quality of life you’re truly having without simple carbohydrates. I tried the “Atkins Diet” once– I don’t want to brag, but I completed that 30 day challenge in just 4 and a half hours. None of the delicious vegetables I wanted to eat like peas and carrots were allowed and if eating hollandaise is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

In all seriousness though, Jim and I have the motivation to make a few resolutions this year. Let’s just say we have a vested interest in cleaning up and clearing out, and this fits in really nicely with our conscious decision to embrace living tiny. And since I was thinking about things in our life getting smaller…I started thinking about my thighs…

I walk a very thin line between having a certain amount of acceptance with what is and wanting to enjoy this one life I have right now, and also feeling like given the choice, sure, I’d like to be at least a little bit smaller. I don’t normally berate myself over my weight; in fact maybe that’s my problem? If I had more of a sense that there was something inherently wrong with me, that I didn’t deserve love, that other people’s opinions have value, maybe I’d drum up the effort to hate myself enough to change. As it is though, I don’t believe any of those things and during my frequent visits to the doctors’ office this past year I’ve received only positive news regarding my labs and vitals. I do refuse to live in a place of self-hate or constant obsession, and if living out loud with fulfillment rubs people the wrong way because that’s what they’ve bought into then they’re free to look away and keep on truckin’. Anyway, while I’m sure no one ends up on their death bed with regret they didn’t spend more time miserable about their arm flab, there’s nothing wrong with meeting the day with a balanced perspective about change.

kale2

So I’m starting with this year’s tiniest month and I’m going to make some tiny changes. In the month of February I’ve set the goal of losing five pounds. The time is going to pass anyway, and you have to lose five pounds to get to twenty so instead of overwhelming myself and then giving up because it all feels like too much elliptical and not enough crème brûlée without any discernible improvements… I’m taking my own advice and starting tiny. Who’s in?

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